User Profile

Character's Name: Stephen (pronounced Stefan) Colbear

Character's Gender: Male, and damn proud! He ain’t no home maker, baby changer! He’s a mover, a shaker!

Character's Appearance: Stephen is a dashing man with as much handsome in him as wit and dedicated attention to the truth. As the ladies would say, he’s tall, dark, and American. He likes his formal robes and dressy ties and always makes sure to look good; not just good, astounding. Amazing. His sleekness and style can only be matched by the straightness and perfection of his haircut and by the blinding glare from his glasses as he’s staring you down. To put it plainly, the man is a fox. A tall drink of water if you will, able to give Jesus Christ himself a run for his money. That’s right, Jesus. Ever see the six pack on that man? He’s ripped!

Character's History: Stephen Colbear spent much of his time with the American Ministry, or as he likes to call it, Estrogen Land. “All hormones, no balls”, Stephen would often remark. His disappointment with his homeland security and a chance encounter with Jon (or as Stephen likes to write, Jawn) Steward caused him to one day pull down his pants and tell his boss to “kiss his white, in the thirty-year-old demographic, male ass”. Needless to say Stephen was in the market for a new place of employment.
He spent a few years mulling about in the British Ministry until he heard that Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was in the market for a new Care of Magical Creatures teacher. Always fancying himself an expert in dangerous and deadly animals Stephen applied for the job and pretended not to be surprised when he actually received the position.

Character's Personality: Colbear enjoys his truth like Ulysses S. Grant enjoyed his cigars. He isn’t afraid to go with his gut feeling and skip the book knowledge which he often feels can be cold and heartless. He’s very opinioned, not afraid of what people think, and will get in your face if he feels you need to be educated on the facts. Especially if it’s regarding the liberal media. Damn that liberal media. Oh, and he likes to ask a lot of questions, even if they can be offensive because dammit, the nation needs to know the truth! And some things just slip out.

He has a tendency to pop up in unexpected places and likes to point with his right hand a lot to emphasize his opinion. He winks a whole lot, usually to an unknown audience, and has a tendency to sit in corners with an observing smirk on his face. Since owls are dead to him he uses a giant, bald eagle named Dixiecrat to deliver his mail, fetch his slippers, tuck him in at night, get him coffee….

Stephen is actually quite intelligent and when he’s not all up in people’s grills he can be rather charming. He values his friendships, especially with one Jaaaawn “Jon” Steward, though isn’t afraid to lose a friend if they can’t handle his balls. And by balls we mean guts. And by guts we mean truthiness.

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